Resist the temptation to buy any scale that "speaks." If my scale announced bad news every morning, I'd shoot it.

I really have to wonder at the "experts" who think you can really "sneak" in some exercise while doing a set of squats in the supermarket checkout line, or going for a set of sit-ups on a giant stability ball at work. Pretty sneaky.

Fashion dictates are so arbitrary, contradictory, and ugly that I suspect many designers are on mind-bending substances.

Playing online games to ramp up my IQ was probably not as useful as reading books that contain words such as neuroplasticity, or 18th century literature whose average sentence contains as many words as would fit in eight Twitter feeds.

While three of four kids are gone, they are not forgotten. Barely a week goes by when we don't get heartfelt text messages, many of which begin, "need more $$$ . . ."

A great humanitarian has created a bra for women just like me: past our "best by" date for the cheerleading squad, but far too early for the shuffleboard squad.

Securing a slot in a desirable book club had become as competitive as gaining acceptance to Harvard.

All authors must self-promote vigorously, but self-published authors have to promote like they're on steroids.

An annual Mother's Day gift is a laughably small payback for all that needless affliction, and that's before even amortizing the value of two decades of carpooling, cooking, karate practice, and becoming an indentured servant to the orthodontist.

Is it still possible to function in the 21st Century without a mobile phone?

"Admit it: we used to be a great team. Thanks to you, I smugly cinched belts to a satisfying close, even without having to mortify myself through torturous sit-ups five times a week."

Most dogs will refuse to become vegetarian, even if you explain to them how beneficial this gastronomic change can be for Mother Earth.

Females seem to suffer more acutely from media influence than boys because they internalize messages around them more easily.

Tax preparation has become more painful than hemorrhoids.

Skimping on good oral hygiene habits can cost you a fortune.

The commercialism of Valentine's Day is more likely to sink a love boat than float.

Just once I'd like to give my husband his Chanukah gift and not have him instantly reply, "Did you keep the receipt?"

Chanukah menorahs are not flashy or fancy, but they quietly, dramatically, light up the room with their power.

Research smashes the stereotype that aging means automatic feebleness or crankiness.

Act like you are on vacation even when you are at work.