It is easy to forget that before America fell in love with cheap, convenient, standardized junk food, it loved cheap, convenient, independently deep-fried junk food.

The passion of Charmin.

The hijacking of mainstream celebrities.

Even more than legendary ciphers like Greta Garbo and Keanu Reeves, Bigfoot gives us nothing of himself, and thus, like the plain white T-shirt, he remains forever in fashion.

The day the (Free) music died.

Pop culture's war on secularists.

The neutering of the van.

The Ultimate Fighting Championship is a sanitized, bureaucratized, more genteelly marketed version of its former self, yet it's also more popular than ever.

It's a dangerous pastime to disappoint celebrities in the Web 2.0 era.

Is The Onion America's most intelligent newspaper?

Instead of scorning Bono, Naomi Klein should send him one of Hallmark's "You make my life 99% more awesomer" Project (RED) greeting cards.

"Lars and the Real Girl" is typical Hollywood myth-making. In real life once you go synthetic, you never regret it.

The return of the guillotine.

The red carpet is everywhere.

In recent years, yoga television has evolved. Sets migrated outdoors. The camera awakened from its semi-paralyzed slumber and started moving with limber assurance. Casts grew larger, more supple, less clothed.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which turns 25 this year, documents more evocatively than a thousand sociology dissertations ever could, what grand and liberating palaces of commerce malls were in their heyday.

When even our teenage beauty pageant contestants can no longer be trusted to stretch a thong of integrity over the giant butt of deceit that moons us every day, what is left for us to believe in?

For the men and women who dream of holding microphones near famous people, this is a golden era.

How are mommies and daddies choosing truly unique names for their kids when "Moxie Crimefighter" is the new Mary? By hiring consultants to choose names for them, of course.

Celebrity pets are the crack of fame, a way to amp up the buzz of unconditional privilege when $100,000 goodie bags at the Oscars no longer thrill like they once did.